Reflections of a Psychopath

I heard the sound slowly surround

My walls and fill my ears

Music sublime that filled my cold

And silent eyes with tears

I lay in bed as still as dead

And let the music in

I let it take control of me

And wipe away the din

Ah that din, that dreadful noise

That resides in my head

Oh I have wished a thousand times

That I could be dead

But no, I cannot lift a toe

And cannot blink an eye

I am not allowed to live

Nor allowed to die

I lie, I lie upon this bed

I lie all day and night

A dweller of the dreadful dark

I only dream of light

And then there is the noise

Oh that ghastly noise that comes

That lives inside my head

The screams, the pain, the guilt the shame

Of the damned and dead.

The dead are creatures merciless

The dead are creatures vile

I used to kill once, long a go

I used to kill and smile

This was because the killing was

The freedom that I had

But they caught me like a dog

And told me I was mad

Mad they told me, barking mad

A killer drowned in sin

A monster, not a man, they said

I thought I’d let them win

I thought I’d let them think they’d won

I am not man, but beast

And so I let them think they’ve won

For a greater feast

I am to make of mortal minds

To feed upon their sorrow

If I don’t get my way today

My day shall be tomorrow

But the music continues

And beats into my soul

It fills my chest with heaviness

Renders my insides cold

I am sedated, prisoner to

The confines of this bed

But I simply cannot deny

The joy that fills my head

The notes that ring, this voice that sings

And pierces through the dream

It makes me see a different me

And drowns the wails and screams

I know not what I am or was

Nor what I shall be

All I know is this music

And this music is me.